*Crickets* Love that. Perfect. What you describe, it feels worse in Japan. All men who approach women are automatically branded creeps. No ifs about it. Guilty until proven innocent or safe. I can’t blame them though. One sexual harasser on a city bus or commuter train is enough to ruin it for the rest of us non-creep males. We have female-only train cars to prove that. And once I hopped onto one just as the doors closed behind me. Imagine my immediate sense of shock and shame at the moment of realizing my faux-pas. What was realistically just few women noticing me (as most were looking down on their phones), it still felt like dozens of pairs of eyes accusingly looking up at me as I meekly escaped into the next car, which was unsegregated…where I found other female passengers also looking at me accusingly, having just seen which traincar I had entered from. Or it felt that way. Even a baby girl glancing my way would have made me feel guilty. So, yes, for insecure guys like me, though approaching women, at least in Japan, may not be technically illegal, I may as well be stoned to death or locked inside a karaoke room with aunties and uncles. The only time I’ll feel immune to guilt or vindicated is when I’m with my mom or sister.
As for playing “hard to get”, I’m fine with some push back. Females who do aren’t always playing games with that. I think it’s a given, since they do need to be careful with some men with bad motives. I wouldn’t want my daughter to give in automatically either and make sure the man is a genuine gentleman with fair intentions. Thanks for the article! I’m sure this will spark arguments, hopefully healthy ones.