Hi Ari,
I think “Joe” unwittingly (or not) violated a unwritten pact among us Medium writers to be respectful and not cross over that line of personal intrusion. You don’t need to explain to ANYone your reason for how you date or make important life decisions. His faux-pas was in judging and questioning you. Bad move. You are here to write. We on the other side of the Internet here to read — or listen with our eyes and heart — and respond with claps, a supportive comment, or silence. At least that’s why I signed up to Medium. Otherwise, I’d have blogged on Twitter or FB or Instagram or the like, and knowingly expose myself to trolls.
But you have written a moving account of your earlier life, which comes as a kind of gift at least to me。　It has opened old wounds that I thought had already healed over with tougher skin, but I don’t feel pain, just a new perspective on traumatic experiences of my own. So, thank you so much for your response article. Your courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable again and acknowledge how you have transformed into your current self is truly appreciated and inspiring. Peace!