Hi, I totally agree. Often it IS the men who exert control and frame women as anything less than a human being deserving respect and empathy. I also feel that different ethnic cultures add on to the negative stigma. And speaking for far-east Asian cultures, specifically Japanese, the matriarchal bigotry and pressures also exert control and influence on attitudes if not more.
I look at mail-order-brides as fellow human beings with open minds, courage, and energy. And I think of their system as nothing different than legitimate meet-in-person matchmaking services.
Best wishes to them all and to you! :D