I don’t know how you feel now after writing and sharing it, but I hope that even if you haven’t got any closure after knowing his demise, you are able to heal better than if you had to keep it bottled up inside.
One of the arguments against capital punishment is related to the question of closure. It’s often heard that families of the victims who died in the hands of criminals say, even after their executions, the question of “Why?” Is never answered. So, justice kills the killers along with their ability to give the victims and their families any real sense of justice served. It’s a really controversial topic, and I don’t want to start any discussion about it here. My point is that I truly empathize and appreciate you sharing that traumatic experience. I don’t know if time will heal, but I hope you will heal. (Not sure if my thoughts have been communicated well…)