I hear you, Emily. I have been to counseling sessions only twice and they were about 8 years ago. They didn't help me, and your example of the one-time-only counselor reminded me of the one I had in Australia (a place that changed my life mostly for the worse), who inadvertently(?) admitted my family story would be a good resource for his research. Like WTF. That one was enough to make me cynical about all counselors. To cement that cynicism, I once dated one (not Australian) who would always analyze my intentions with a judgmental tone. (eye roll)

But I’m sincerely glad you found a good one. I agree that most of the time, we just need someone who will listen and be able to help us reflect on ourselves and gain new perspective on our situations or circumstances.

You wrote: They see me from who they remember and somehow block my growth, whether they realize it or not.

Yes.

If I could understand why people do that, I'd be able to move on, maybe. Is it because they want to feel in control of the relationship? "No, you are not renewed. You have not grown or evolved. Let me treat you the way I did before because that is familiar to me. My feelings take priority over the progress you have made on your own."

Wow, Jake, that sounds harsh.

Well, guys, you might not think that if you've been on my side of things.

Self-care for me is an elusive friend that hangs around for a while and helps me enough to get by but suddenly disappears. Then it shows up again in another form, such as a new hobby, a trip, an indulgent dinner.

Sorry, this got too long! Thanks again! Long last your empowerment!