In my case — which is no worse than yours or anyone else’s — the cognitive dissonance of loss has not so much grown as caused a cognitive mutation of sorts. LoL
I have a science background and know I’m talking nonsense but I’m not a skilled writer either, so … LoL
I have to say, your story is underrated / under-clapped. Thanks for my morning dose of good Medium material! Let’s stay connected with our writing!