I’ve always thought that the now-trendy saying “learn to love yourself” is odd or something of a paradox. I can understand “believe in yourself” though, because it is a kind of mission statement that is based on your level of self-confidence, which naturally comes from personal experiences and achievements. But loving yourself has always sounded secretly or covertly narcissistic with a kind of license to feel good at the expense of rational thinking or compassion and empathy towards others. And my last three words or five words make up my point. I mean, if you’re alone in the world, why do you need to love yourself? You exist. You. Just. Are. And you just live. There are no interactions with anyone else to create a need for self-evaluation because what is the purpose of a measuring stick if there is only you. Don’t we feel the need to evaluate ourselves because we live in a society where people are constantly comparing themselves with others? The same goes with evaluating merchandise, currency, human resource, and people’s social behaviour to name a few or four. If there are people out there who are truly enlightened like the Buddha, there is no need to love yourself. You just love. And that’s my final point. You can love what you do for other living things, including the neighbour or colleague you don’t particularly get along well. It doesn’t mean you have to like them. We are human after all. But loving is accepting who they are AND how they evaluate you. It’s not easy, but I can deal with this challenge. Loving myself in the cliché way is elusive and abstract, or else I can be self-centered and dismissive of others and choose to stay submerged in apathy. Which should I choose?
P.s. Thanks for your engaging and resonating article! It was a timely topic for me!